Trixie
by Rkady
Summary: A short remembrance of an encounter with Bellatrix-by an old classmate!


How I loved her. Do not ever think I did not. She was beautiful. You have to understand that about her. She was beautiful. Even _after_, when she was aged, ravaged by time. People who knew her said she was insane, and she may well have been. But she was beautiful.

Sometimes she comes to me in my dreams still. I remember when I first met her. How young we were. The first time I saw her fight. She was dueling a long-haired young man. "Come on, come on," he shouted, deflecting her spells, "you can do better than that!"

I remember how _I _used to to duel her. But I never could win. And how I held her, that one night,,,,,,

Then there were all the terrible stories, years later. How she joined with _him. _ Stories of murder, of torture. Then she was gone, sentenced to life in Azkaban. I knew I would never see her again. I would not submit her to the indignity of me visiting her. I was not even certain if visitors were allowed in Azkaban, and I think it would destroy her pride for me to see her in such a state. To this day, I will not listen to any stories about her, especially those that malign her. I believe I am one of the few to place flowers on her grave. I only saw her once more, many years later.

It happened at Hogwarts, my first night there. There was some tumult late in the evening. I was staying fairly close to the Great Hall, and I remember being roused from a book. I crossed the room to the door and pulled it open, I didn't even have my wand. I thought certainly I was seeing a vision.

There _she _was. She was with several others , they were walking almost in military formation. I think I saw Snape, but the one that stands out most in my mind-besides her, was a big, wild, fearsome looking fellow. I looked out, unable to believe my eyes. They were just past and I foolishly stepped out into the hall.

"Trixie!" I hissed. She stopped and turned, then a couple of others, most notably the big scary-looking fellow, did as well. I walked forward-quite foolishly, I know now, but my mind was all awhirl, unable to grasp what I was certain was a dream. It couldn't be her. She couldn't be out of that horrible place. But if it was, maybe we could finally be together-! I had been away so long on business in the Muggle world I had heard no news at the time. Oh, of course I know about the boy who lived and all that, but I had heard nothing of her escape from Azkaban. My only thought was that she had somehow suddenly been pardoned, and I admit I may have been a bit lovesick, still nurturing dreams and visions of bliss, even after all the years.

She raised her wand-I thought I was dead! But she lowered it again. "Trixie!" I breathed, unable to believe my luck. "Where have you been? How did you get out of Azkaban?" She slowly walked towards me. She was still beautiful after all these years, but I could see the ravages time and poor treatment had made. She looked at me for a long moment and I saw a whirling gleam in her eyes, a madness that glittered like ice, and then, for just a second, it faded. She gave me a long look of sadness? Longing? Regret? Then she stepped away. The big scary fellow stepped towards me with an animal snarl, and I could smell a scent of blood and sweat coming from him. Trix whipped her wand around to point it at him and he immediately retreated. I could see the fear slipping through the brutal mask that was his face.

She then looked at me for a long moment , her eyes dark brown pools of sorrow, then pulled me to her in seemingly-everlasting embrace. I closed my eyes and buried my face between her neck and her shoulder. And as I did, I was overwhelmed with a flood of memories. The first time I saw her. The first time I spoke to her. How I knew she must have loved me even though she was highborn, I only middle. How we sneaked away from the school during the night. How we sparred with our wands. How we sparred with our bodies.

"I have to go" she said quietly. "But why,,,,why can't you stay?" I stammered, wanting to drag her into my room. "I have to go." She said again, quietly. She pulled away. She stood at arm's length for a long moment, gazing up at me, and reached a hand up to caress my cheek. I caught her hand and kissed it and gave it a playful nip on the side, the way I did in the past. For that split second, it _felt_ like the past. I felt like, for just a heartbeat, that I could go back, as I so often wished. That I could convince her to come with me, that it was still all those years ago and I-_we _could go down a different path. But he said nothing, only looked at me a moment longer, and I saw emotion flickering in her eyes. Emotion of what, I don't know.

She then turned and walked away, her head down. "Trixie!" I hissed. "Where are you going,,,,will I see you again?" She turned her head to the side and said one last thing in a gentle, sad voice

"I hope you never do."


End file.
